there are no words

for what you are about to read. i'm not kidding. i cannot believe the ridiculousness of the entire thing...the man, what he was accused of doing, the fact that it was in court.

taxpayer dollars hard at work

wordless wednesday

check this out...

frozen in grand central

cool!!!

who ate all the cheez-its?

i really don't think that i need to say anything here. i'll let the pictures do the talking.

emergency? i think not.

picture it...sicily...1921...

so, as you may or may not know, grandma jingly keys is living with us. (and when i say us, i mean my mom, dad, husband, 3 kids, and me.) before coming to live with us, she was living alone in an apartment and getting along just fine...cooking for herself, bathing herself, etc...

yesterday, everyone but grandma left the house. my parents were gone for a total of about 5 hours. hubby, the kids, and i were gone for what seemed like a week, but in reality was only about 7 1/2 hours. before we left, we made a list of everyone's cell numbers and the number of my other grandma who lives in town, grandma poo's dead. my mom then proceeded to tell her that these numbers were for emergencies and she and my dad would be back early in the afternoon. before they left, my mom even made her a sandwich, fruit, and a cup of soup and had it all ready in the fridge for GJK when she was ready for lunch. my mom asked GJK if she knew how to work the microwave to warm her soup, GJK replied yes. (i know, because i was there.)

ok...so several hours later, my mom called me and told me that in fact, grandma jingly keys did have an emergency. (my heart was in my throat at this point). mom said that GJK had to call grandma poo's dead because she needed her soup warmed up and couldn't figure out how to use the microwave. also, she was cold and wanted the fireplace on. (i'm sorry, what?! did i hear right? or did i just have a stroke?) i asked my mom if she sat down with GJK and explained that needing her soup warmed up and being cold did not qualify as emergencies. mom did, in fact, tell that to GJK...who said, "yes it was, i needed my soup".
really? her point of reference for emergencies is needing soup warmed up?

i don't even know what to say about this...except that i'm going to ride this one for a l-o-n-g time. in fact, i called grandma poo's dead this morning and said that i needed her to come over right away to put toothpaste on my toothbrush. i think she might have peed her pants she laughed so hard.

(nearly) wordless wednesday

this is captain adventure. do i really need to say anything else? he has such amazing energy. he makes me giggle...i really enjoy his company. he truly is a neat kid. i wish i could be inside his head sometimes...i'd like to be there so i could understand why he does the things he does...like peeing on his bedroom floor instead of the in the toilet, or throwing rocks on poppy's roof, or standing in the bathroom sink, or spraying enough room spray in the bathroom that the floor is so wet that i have to get a bath towel to dry it...i just don't get it. he has been having a hard time lately...not sure why. i hope i can figure it out...i want him to enjoy life without causing such a ruckus with his shenanigans. he has such a cool personality. i don't want to crush his little spirit, but something has got to change.

no mushy brains for us, thanks.

we've been having a number of conversations about possible summer activities. i have never been one to "overschedule" our kids...mostly because then, i'd be overscheduling myself, since i am their taxi and chaperone. we've always done little things like the library reading program, swimming lessons, and of corse play dates with friends. however, we've been reconsidering our position on summertime activities. due to captain adventure's recent and increasingly prevalent shenanigans,we've decided to look for some things that he and his sister could be involved in. here's what we have so far...

little mother hen is already going to reading camp for 4 weeks. captain adventure is now going to 6 1-week sessions of camp at his school. they are both taking swimming lessons. LMH wants to take gymnastics (like her mother did when she was a girl, by the way.), and a 2 day martial arts class. captain adventure wants to play t-ball.

so, it looks like we're going to have a busier summer than i planned. that's ok. with the chaos in our house right now, i think this is a good idea. they need a little more structure than we have right now...and they need more of a schedule than we have right now. truth be told, their brains turn do mush every summer if i'm not providing constant brain stimulation (kind of like mine did when i quit work). right now just isn't a good time for me to be consistent with that. there's too much craziness around here. i know that we're definitely going to be busy and it certainly won't be a summer of laying around, but that's ok. we may end up regretting our decision to do so many activities. i doubt it though. i guess we'll see.

bedtime shenanigans take 2

me: (standing in the bathroom waiting for captain adventure to come take a bath) CA, please come here and go potty.

CA: i alweddy did.

me: um, where did you go potty? i'm in the bathroom and you haven't been in here.

CA: (silence)

me: CA? is there a problem?

CA: i go potty in my room.

me: where?

CA: behind the door.

(this conversation was followed by yet another conversation about where big boys do and do not go pee pee.)


***************

and since i have your attention, here's another captain adventure story...

little mother hen: mahm! come quick! CA is being unsafe!

me: (running up stairs) what's wrong?!

LMH: CA was standing in the sink.

me: (i'm sorry, what?!) CA! were you standing in the sink?

CA: (big wide eyes) yes mama.

me: (l-o-n-g lecture about being safe, the need for CA to stop acting like a monkey/animal and start acting like a little boy, etc...)

seriously?! i can't believe the things he does. i don't even know what to say sometimes. other people who i tell stories about CA to tell me that boys are just like this. you have got to be kidding me. they really have no common sense. i just don't get it.

bedtime shenanigans

me: um, why aren't you in your pajamas? please put your pajamas back on. it is time for bed.

captain adventure: (sad face, head down) i can't. they wet.

me: what do you mean they're wet?!

CA: i pee peed in them.

me: how is that possible? you were awake. where did this happen?

CA: in va bafwoom.

me: (after checking the bathroom...the floor was wet, his clothes were wet, and the stool that he does not use for any reason was wet) CA, what is the problem? why did you wet your pants? i don't think this was an accident. was this an accident?

CA: yes.

me: you don't get in trouble for accidents. everyone has accidents. i don't think this was an accident. you thought you had a pull-up on, didn't you? and that is why you went pee pee in your pants. is that what happened?

CA: yes. i faught i had a pull-up on.

me: when you are awake, you go pee pee in the toilet. pee pee in pull-ups is for sleeping only. do you understand?

CA: yes mama. (followed by lots and lots of tears)

me: i love you CA.

CA: i love you too mama.

taking appointments for hair cuts

so, we were sitting at the table eating dinner the other night and i was in mid-sentence when i noticed a problem...

(with shock in my voice) ME: um, little mother hen, did you cut your hair?

(with surprise and a straight face) LMH: no. is it cut?

ME: uh, really? you have no idea that your hair is cut? is that the story you're going to stick to?

LMH: yes, mama....(long pause)...um, actually, i forgot, i did cut it.

ME: where? when? how did this happen?

LMH: (giggling) oh. i forgot. i did it while mrs. teacher was in the office.

ME: so you did it at school?

LMH: no.

ME: someone else cut your hair?

LMH: (tears in her eyes) no. (l...o...n...g...pause...) oh wait. i was confused. it wasn't at school. it was upstairs.

ME: where did you get the scissors? when did you do this?

* this conversation continued like this for several more minutes...it took a while, but she finally admitted that she cut it so she could see what it would look like short and so that her "hair cut girl" would know where to cut. interesting.
soooo, if anyone needs a cut, let me know and we'll get you scheduled with little mother hen. she's quite creative.

wordless wednesday

no, your eyes do not deceive you. that is a window and captain adventure is in it. he had been trying to get me to open his window all day so he could watch for birds. since i never move fast enough for him, he took matters into his own hands and moved bedroom furniture and placed it just so. then, using the aforementioned furniture, he climbed onto the window sill and stood/knelt there for several minutes...just looking out into the neighborhood. he was very proud of his macgyver skills.