dear sir

no, not you. you. the grumpy middle-aged man working at the car wash on 15 north...the one by dairy queen...the one that rhymes with poopermatic. well, this morning, my two year old and i ventured out to clean my van. i usually patronize your car wash because it is a wide open parking lot and there is plenty of traffic in, out, and around (i'm a safety girl). anyway, i know that i filled up your trash can (it had been a reeeaaaly long time since i'd cleaned out my van)...and i know that we spent quite a long time at the vacuum (i used it for two full cycles), but i do not know is what i could possibly have done to warrant you glaring at me and screaming profanities.

when we arrived, there were a few other cars there...one was using another vacuum and one or two were using the car wash bays.
after i was finished vacuuming my van, i got back inside to re-organize and noticed that you were walking around the parking lot picking up trash from the ground. as you approached my van, i could hear you grumbling and saying something, but i couldn't hear what you were saying. after a few more minutes, we were ready to leave and as i was pulling away, i could hear you yelling...i could feel your eyes on me...i carefully looked back and saw that you were glaring at me and yelling at me...i rolled the window down a little and i could hear you screaming profanities at me. i don't know exactly everything you were saying, but it was evident that you were angry about something.

if you were angry because i filled the trash can, i apologize, but what is it there for? i paid to use your vacuum. twice. and it isn't like i brought trash from home...i merely cleaned out my van. possibly i misunderstand what a car wash, vacuums, and trash cans are for. for that i also apologize.


if you are angry because i didn't use your wash bays, i will again have to apologize. however, i make it a habit not to take our two year old through car washes, as he is terribly afraid of them and screams bloody murder the entire time. i usually reserve the actual washing for our older two...they think it is a fun treat.

your behavior was aggressive and a little scary. i'm glad it was during the day so i could see you.

anywho, in conclusion, i super double top secret probation apologize for driving across town to use your trash cans and pay to use your vacuums at your CARWASH to clean out my van. it will never happen again. i promise.

wanted: a job

my requirements:

• $300 million per year
• 10 weeks of vacation per year
  
• 4 day work weeks
• no accountability whatsoever

my qualifications:

• i like chocolate
• i know how to balance my checkbook
• blue is my favorite color
• i look both ways before i cross the street

what i can offer you:

• promises, promises, promises
• zero accountability
  
• taking complete advantage of those who are less fortunate than me so that i can make more money than anyone on the planet. (awesome!)
• did i mention that i refuse to be held accountable for any wrong-doings or alleged wrong-doings?
  

seriously. i am absolutely disgusted with the idiots in our country. the greedy bastards on wall street. the CEOs and CFOs of companies who do nothing but bend rules and make great deals for themselves. and our super-awesome elected officials who stand idly by (while their pockets are being lined) and do nothing to keep the people of america from being taken advantage of. it disgusts me.

WAKE UP PEOPLE!

me

i don't know about you...

but whenever i hear sirens i get this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. i'm just sure it's someone i know. and, sometimes it is. we live in a small town and eventually you do know someone who's waiting on the other end of the sirens. but sometimes not.

my dad was on the fire department when we were growing up and we learned more than enough safety tips from him...like don't trust the crossing guards at a railroad crossing-- stop and see for yourself if there's a train coming...and how to be safe with fires & things that start fires.

which brings me to one of my safety-related pet peeves. (yes, i know i have a long list of pet peeves, but this one is at the top of my list.) if there is an emergency vehicle traveling towards you (in either direction) with it's lights on and sirens-a-blaring, PULL OVER. GET OUT OF THE WAY. you getting to the gym or a hair appointment is superceded by the fact that the ambulance behind you needs to get to an emergency situation. that fireman who is honking his fire truck horn at you is trying to get to a fire...or a wreck...or some other emergency. maybe it's your house that's burning down. maybe it's someone you know that was in a car wreck and YOU are holding the emergency personnell up as you drive seemingly unaffected by the sirens blaring and horns sounding. move your frigging car out of the way.

and when you finally do pull over and you're sitting in your car stewing about how this is making you late, say a little prayer that the people on the other end of the sirens are ok and that the emergency personnell trying to get to the wreck or fire arrive safely and quickly and are able to do their job well...then pray that you will be able to get your head out of your ass and have more sense and patience when it comes to putting someone else above yourself for 60 seconds so the amulance or police car or fire truck can get through.

hodgepodge

i've had an overactive brain lately and have been frozen in place trying to figure out where to start first. here are my recent thoughts in no particular order...



* pool safety: if you own a pool (and when i say pool, i don't mean the kind you blow up), in my humble opinion, it would behoove you to learn and be able to correctly execute CPR & first aid. especially if (but not limited to) you have young children or grandchildren who will be swimming in said pool. and specifically if any of said children are the fruit of my womb. although i know that (the general) you would never do anything to intentionally harm our children, please accept the fact that accidents do happen...even at your house...even when you don't mean for them to.



* customer service: if you work in some area of customer service (you'd be surprised how many people do), please remember that although the customer may not always be right, the customer is always the customer. learn how to say things with a smile (even when it is your 11th of a scheduled 12 hour shift of listening to people complain about ridiculous things that you have no control over). watch the tone of your voice. listen to how you talk to people and what you say to them. is it the way you would like to be treated? if not, either change your attitude or find a new job.



* general niceities: puh-leese say please and thank you. if you see someone in need, help them if you can...hold the door open for someone who has their arms full... smile at the mom/dad in the grocery store with their 4 kids who looks like they're going to pull their hair out...sometimes, if you're able, pay for the person behind you in line somewhere -- you'd be surprised how receiving a cup of coffee that a perfect stranger paid for could change their day...if you see someone on the side of the road stranded for God's sake, don't let them in your car, but call help for them...every once in a while, send out "thinking of you" cards or emails to let your friends and family know that you love them and you are thinking about them...volunteer (anywhere).



* etiquette: a friend of mine called to tell me a story about how they had recently had houseguests for a long weekend (5 days)...we'll call my friend "dorothy" for the sake of this story. so, dorothy, her husband and their kids hosted her husband's sister & her husband, and their dog...and their new baby. dorothy and her husband had really been looking forward to the visit...although they don't live far from each other (about 1/2 a day's drive), they don't see each other much. anyway, their guests arrived and all was well...for about the first day. their guests had lots of things they wanted to do...places to go...places to eat...places to shop...but, as you may know, everything costs money and the guests never seemed to be interested in paying. they also didn't seem to be very interested in taking care of their baby or dog. for example -- they were all out on the deck one night waiting for supper to cook on the grill when they heard the baby on the monitor waking up from his nap...but no one moved. then, dorothy's SIL asked if dorothy could go get the baby. now, of course, this isn't a lot to ask, but SIL was just sitting in a chair reading a book and drinking a beer. the in-laws didn't even pick up the dog poop while they were there...my friend and her family don't have a dog...so they don't have poop to pick up. the in-laws never even offered to help cook or do dishes. they went to visit and expected to be waited on hand and foot.

the moral of the story is...please be considerate of others...even if they invite you to their house...other people don't expect to be your personal servants while you visit their home. offer to help cook...or if you're not a good cook, offer to do the dishes. you're more likely to be invited back and your hosts are less likely to hate having you there. if you have a dog (or other pet), for crying out loud, pick up after them! be a good guest!



* gasoline: can anyone explain to me why when one of the futures guys on wallstreet even thinks that the price of oil might go up, the price of gas shoots up by 30 cents per gallon or more? but when the price of oil actually goes down, it takes almost a week for the price of gas to go down 25 cents per gallon? just wondering. i thought maybe someone out in internet-land might know the secret formula.



* swingsets: recently we brought our old swingset to where we live now so the kids can use it again. they LOVE it! i didn't realize how much they missed it until we brought it here. we've all been swinging on it. it is the swingset that my sisters and i had when we were little girls. my dad bought it from the parks department where we lived, so it is huge and sturdy. it's awesome! we had to buy sammysosa a new baby swing...the ropes on the other one were unraveling (i thought that might present a safety problem).

*voluntarily coaching young children in voluntary sports: ok, well, i would think that this would go without actually having to say it, but apparently not. if you are a coach of something (anything, really) and there are young children involved, please keep the following in mind:

• not all children are born with a mitt in their hands or leotards on their bodies
• treat each child as you would want your child to be treated
• you don't have to coddle them, but you don't have to be a complete sports psycho with them either...they're 7 & 4. give me (and them) a break...this isn't the olympics
• maybe the child you're looking at (with disdain and annoyance because she just did the exact same thing wrong even though you've already told her how to do it the right way 10 times already) mustered up every ounce of strength and courage she had to make herself try something new today...and maybe you're ruining it for her. maybe your'e ruining it for all of us
• maybe you should try to remember what it was like to be a child again...wanting to try new things (because the other kids are doing it and it looks like they're having fun), but being afraid of failing or looking silly

that's enough about that. i have to go have a piece of chocolate now. until later...

be the change

sometimes you have to get off of your pissy pot and decide that you're not going to keep complaining like a broken record. it isn't enough to just keep talking and complaining about something. take that energy, harness it, and focus it on something else...like making a change.

it is soooo easy to just keep complaining, though, isn't it? sometimes it's fun...when we get together and complain about the same event or person. but the truth is, nothing productive is coming of it. nothing changes. the really difficult work comes with changing...a behavior...an event...an attitude. it is hard to change. and sometimes it's scary...like changing jobs or friends or houses. but, complaining just eats away at our spirit and our soul.

so, i'm going to make a better effort to be the change that i want to see. instead of sitting on the sidelines complaining at every turn, i'm going to get in the game and start being more pro-active, instead of reactive.

be the change. be the change. be the change. (that's my new mantra)

my heart is heavy

i don't even know where to start...

everyday my husband gets up and goes to a job where he treated like an easily traded commodity. he takes a disgusting amount of use and abuse by his new boss. he puts up with unfounded accusations. he tolerates his integrity and loyalty being questioned. he does these things because he has a wife and three kids and he loves us. to him, it's just that simple.

when i think of the past 4+ years and all of the personal sacrifices he and our family have made for this job, i am sad...and angry...and disgusted. because for all of his loyalty, all of the hours he puts in (80+/week), and all of the time he has sacrificed away from his family, he is repaid with despicable treatment.

my husband is a man of integrity. he is honest and forthright. he is loyal to a fault. and get this...he actually treats people how he would want to be treated. he is kind. he is genuine. if there's something he wouldn't say to a person's face, then he won't say it at all.

his blood sweat and tears have gone into that place...a place that repays him with personal attacks and slanderous statements. my heart is broken knowing what he goes through every day...not knowing if he'll still have a job at the end of each day. and it's too bad that the customers they serve are oblivious to what is going on. i wish they knew. if only they knew just how they were being bamboozled by the higher-ups, they'd be shocked. i hope that it all comes out someday. i'm sure it will. it always does.

maybe someone can explain this to me...

well, i'm not going to mention names, but there are some people in my life who do nothing but suck me dry. when i meet their every whim and request, life is good. however, when i am unable or unwilling to accomodate, all hell breaks loose. there's a lot of manipulating, whining, manipulating (did i say that already?), double talk, and broken-record-like repetitiveness. (and, before you ask, i'm not talking about my kids.) the thing is that if i had met them anywhere else (like, if i had met them at work or at a party or something), i would have already cut them off. too bad for me that i'm related to them...and that isn't going to change.

they whine because they don't see the kids as often as they'd like. yet, they live and work within 10 miles of us and rarely call, stop by, or invite us over. they have hurt feelings when they don't get to talk to hubby when they want to. NEWS FLASH: he works 800 hours a week and doesn't get to see his wife and kids...why would he want to spend any precious time off with people who whine at him and manipulate him? (ok...800 hours is a little bit of an exaggeration, but he's gone a lot.)

they whine if we don't spend as much time as they think we should at their house...yet when we stay a little longer to visit, they don't have anything to say. it's the same blah blah blah over and over. we have very little in common, and they couldn't carry on an actual conversation to save their lives. i'm not kidding. for example:

me: hi. how are you?

them: good. (note, there's no reciprocation of the greeting or friendly question)

me: so, how's your mom doing?

them: she's getting along good. (note, there's no expanding on this...there's merely a simple answer)

it is very frustrating. this is not what i signed up for. this is not the kind of relationship i want to have with them. but, it is what it is.

got any suggestions?

if you are reading this and you know who i'm talking about, please don't mention names or relationships.

where is the line?

ok, so one of the more prominent stories in the news these days is about the 400+ children who were removed from a polygamist compound in texas. now, i fully support freedom to practice whatever religion a person chooses. and i do not want the government infringing on my privacy, nor would i want them telling me how to raise my children. that being said, if someone is doing something that is 1. illegal and 2. has the potential to harm their children, they should not be surprised when the state intervenes on behalf of the children.

i believe that those women are brain-washed...but that's just my opinion. if they grew up in that compound and never knew anything else, how could they possibly know it was 1. illegal 2. had the potential to harm their children 3. the possibility existed that the government could take their children from them? i am sure that the children (and women too) are in great pain over this. their world has been turned upside down. everything and everyone they know has been taken from them. from birth, they have been told that the outside world is evil and that disobedience will lead to eternal damnation. they have been told that every single day of their lives. if these young women and girls have made a seemingly free choice (to marry at a young age and start bearing children) based on questionable teachings that have been taught to them since birth, maybe it's not a free choice after all.

now, as far as i've read the main defense seems to be that the state is violating their freedom to practice their religion. practicing your religion is one thing and fully supported by our constitution. but people don't get to break laws under the guise of freedom of religion. if this group was producing and selling meth, we wouldn't even blink an eye when the state intervened on behalf of the welfare of the children. but, because they are a religious group practicing their religious beliefs, people are crying foul. what if someone started a new religion and the teachings included the thought that all people who are left handed were evil and should be killed in order to be obedient to God? would we as a society allow that? um, probably not.
at least i hope not...we seem to be more and more tolerant of this type of aberrant behavior. people tape them selves having sex and post it on the internet and we watch it. talk show hosts call our military personnel murderers and rapists and we keep on tuning in every day. celebrities rant and rave about the war in iraq and make comments bashing the military and our country...and we keep paying to see their movies and concerts. teenagers think it is perfectably acceptable to tape themselves beating classmates so they can post it on youtube. think about that for a minute. who in their right mind would think that that was cool or acceptable?! we teach people how to treat us and talk to us. if we continue accepting unacceptable behavior under the guise of freedom of speech and freedom of religion, people will continue behaving in this manner. where is the line?