where were you?

seven years ago today i was in bed sleeping when the phone rang. it was my sister. i could hear the panic in her voice. she told me to put the news on and started telling me the story of how a plane had just flown into one of the twin towers. i can remember watching the news unfold and seeing the building on fire...thinking what a horrible accident it was...praying for the people involved.

our two month old daughter woke up around the same time and i took her to the kitchen with me as i started a pot of coffee. we went to the living room and i turned the news on and sat down to nurse her. as i sat there watching the news wondering how a plane could hit a huge building, across the screen i watched the unimaginable become reality...another plane running into the other tower.

my throat tightened. my eyes welled up with tears. i felt nauseated. as i watched, it became very clear that these events were no accident. as the day progressed we would all learn that these events were part of a master and devious plan set in motion by people who we would never know, who never knew us. that was (and still is) a very difficult idea for me to wrap my head around.

as i sat on the couch sobbing and holding our newborn baby, i thought "my God. what have we done? what kind of a world have we brought our daughter into?" i called my friend molly and we cried together. we were both still on maternity leave with our baby girls and decided that we wanted to spend the day together. our husbands both had to work that day and we didn't want to be alone with our girls.

they only lived an hour away, so she packed a few things and drove to our house. we spent the day together praying, crying, and holding our girls, wondering how anyone could commit this horrific act of hatred.

every time i think about that day...how i felt...what it was like to watch the events unfold on television, i think about the people who were directly affected...the people who died...the people who had loved ones die...the people who watched it happen...and i say a prayer.

where were you?

getting there is half the fun

i have very fond memories of childhood family vacations. someday i want to be able to take trips with our kids...when mr. husband has a job that doesn't require him to work seven days a week & when we actually have money to spend on taking a vacation. until then, i'll just pine away and day dream about the times we spent getting to our vacation destinations when i was a child.

i can remember planning and packing for days...wanting to have just the right clothes, toys, and snacks in the car with us. usually the day before our trip started, we would make a special trip to the grocery and my sisters and i would each be able to pick out our favorite snack to take with us. i could probably guess right and say that i picked chicken in a biscuit crackers (i loved those!). but i would bet money on the fact that my baby sister chose funyuns. she LOVED those things. picture it -- driving in a van with 5 people. windows up. shoes off. open mouth breathing. baby sister opens a bag of funyuns. the stinch was practically unbearable. after their first appearance, dad declared them contraband for any and all future car trips...along with corn nuts, anything that was cool ranch flavored, and blue suckers*.

my dad has family in florida and when we were younger we visited them a few times. one year my mom's family traveled with us caravan-style. my parents had borrowed a friend's van (which by the way had carpeted walls and a refrigerator) for the trip. my sisters and i, my parents, my grandma, aunt, uncle, and cousin all rode in the van. my mom's sister and her husband followed us. we had CBs. we were so rad. (i know...you're jealous.)

anyway, my dad worked an overnight shift and when he came home in the morning, we left. he drove first. he drove for hours without incident. we stopped for gas, got out and stretched then when we were ready to leave, my mom's brother took over driving. we hadn't gone five miles when our dad started yelling at our uncle. he had fallen asleep. while he was driving. on an interstate. going 80 miles per hour. with our entire family in the van.

i have no memory of my uncle driving on anymore family vacations...until a few years ago when my family went to new york for a wedding. again, my dad started the drive and when my uncle took over, my sister looked up from her magazine just in time to see his eyes drooping and his head bobbing. he is no longer aloud to drive anyone in our family to any destination whatsoever.

most of the vacation memories i have follow this same pattern...preparation, fiasco after fiasco during the trip, and vague-ish memories of the actual vacation. you know what, though? i wouldn't change it for anything. i loved our trips together. even with crazy half-awake drivers, stinky food, us (kids) against them (adults) warfare. it was fun. it was the only thing we knew. i can't wait to have the same kind of vacations with our kids.

me

*as we were driving (over a bridge if memory serves), my dad happened to look in the rear view mirror and almost wrecked the van. "oh my God, she's cyanotic!" we were all like, "what?! who's cyanotic?!" well, it turns out that baby sister's blue raspberry sucker had turned her entire mouth (including her lips) BLUE. he thought she was choking. and, thus, the "no blue sucker rule" was born.

unbelievable

Happy 7th Birthday Little Mother Hen!

age 1

age 2

age 3

age 4

age 5

age 6

age 7

dear little mother hen,

i cannot believe that 7 years ago today we met you for the first time. we had been waiting and waiting (and waiting) for you. here is the story of your birth...

i was due June 30 (at least that is what the doctor told us) and as you know, your birthday is july 11...tells you what the doctors know. towards the end of my pregnancy with you, i started to really feel crowded...i was sure that you had no room left to grow. i told our doctor this several times, but each time she reassured me that you were fine and that i just wasn't used to having a baby inside my body and that there was plenty of room.

so, you were a week overdue and we were becoming anxious about your birth...wondering if you would ever come out or not...when one night i was laying in bed with your dad (who was sleeping) and the contractions started to come...they never really hurt, but they were consistently becoming more frequent...after almost 2 hours, i woke your dad up and we went outside to walk. he walked with me at first, but pooped out after a while and i continued alone...i just walked up and down our road...he stayed outside with me and we talked. the contractions eventually slowed down after a few more hours and were completely gone just after 3am. i had a doctor's appointment later that day...our doctor was gone (of course) and i had to see her partner. i was having contractions again by this point and he checked me only to find that i was no more dilated than when i last saw our regular doctor. (poop!) so, we went on with business as usual...i would follow up with our doctor a few days from then.

we called momo and poppy to tell them what was going on...they packed up and came down to lafayette to camp out until you were born. momo drug me outside every chance she had to walk. we walked. and we walked. and we walked. all the while, i kept having contractions...but nothing that ever hurt or strong enough to get labor really moving. momo and poppy stayed for a few days, but then went back home when we realized that you weren't going to come out of my tummy willingly.

when we saw our doctor the next monday, we talked to her at great length...she decided to induce labor two days from then...on wednesday july 11, 2001. cool! i was so excited that i wasn't even scared! we called everyone to let them know the plan and they all began making their plans to come for your birth.

on the morning of your birth, we woke up very early. we had to be to the hospital by 6:45 so they could check us in and we could be in the maternity ward by 7:00. the lady that checked us in was very nice...she asked us about you and ourselves...she could tell that we were excitedly nervous and took great care to help us feel comfortable. when we were done, someone came to escort us to the labor and delivery unit.

i was shown where to change and what to put on (a lovely hospital gown, of course). your dad bugged the nurse and went through every cupboard and drawer while the nurse did my admission assessment. (poor girl) she was such a good nurse...kind and thoughtful...she took very good care of us during her shift. we also had a student nurse with us that day...i was the only one in the entire unit who would agree to have a male student follow us through the labor and delivery process. (everybody needs to learn.)

our doctor came shortly after 7 and broke my water. there was a lot of water.

we hadn't been there very long when momo and poppy arrived. they were just as excited as we were. nobody could wait to meet you! of course, momo made me start walking again...we walked and walked and walked. i was back in bed taking a little rest when mamaw, papaw, aunt jenny, and dylan arrived. we visited for a few minutes and then momo and i got back to walking. the nurses teased us about how fast we walked. a little later, aunt sara and aunt megan arrived...followed by mike, josh & kristi, sam, tammy & the girls...you were very popular!

just after lunch, the nurse and our doctor checked me and found that i was dilated to 3 cm. (we had 7 more to go) we talked to our doctor and she decided to hang a medicine called pitocin to help move labor along a little more. pitocin makes your uterus contract strongly...after about 2 1/2 hours, i couldn't stand it anymore and asked for an epidural. the pain was getting to be too much and i wanted to be comfortable and enjoy the labor and your birth. after they put the epidural in, i was not allowed out of bed. (too bad for momo!)

the afternoon continued with me having contractions and the nurses turning my pitocin up as high as they could...still i was not progressing. we all continued to visit off and on as i rested.

around supper time, our doctor came in and checked me...still 3 cm...i had been stuck at 3 all day! we talked a while with her and she offered to let me labor through the night...or have a cesarean section. your dad and i talked and we decided on a c-section. we figured that if i was 11 days overdue, had been laboring all day, wasn't dilated past 3...then there must be a reason.

the anesthesiologist who would care for us was away from the hospital for a few hours...when he got back, we were wheeled to the OR to have you! your daddy video taped your birth...he stood and watched the entire surgery. i couldn't believe it! i couldn't feel pain...just my body being tugged and rolled around. after what seemed like forever, you were finally out...when i heard you cry for the first time, i cried. i still cry every time i watch the video and hear you cry. your daddy told me you were a girl. a girl. we had a little girl. unbelievable!

i waited to hear your weight...i heard our doctor say you were big when she pulled you out. and then there it was. "10 lbs 15 ounces" (i'm sorry, what?!) i laughed and told our doctor that she wasn't a very good guesser of weights (she thought you'd be in the high 8 pound range).

you were the biggest baby in the nursery...there were 34 other babies that day (shocking, i know) you also had the most hair. you looked like dick the bruiser laying next to the other babies. it was too cute.

our families stayed to watch you have your first bath then they went home. they had a long drive back and it was late.

after i got to our room, they brought you in...you breastfed for the first time...you were an expert right away. your daddy stayed with us for that first night. our little family was growing before our eyes.

i can't believe that seven years have gone by since that night. i can still remember your birth like it was yesterday. you are growing and changing every day. you are a kind, thoughtful, loving, caring, smart little girl. we are so blessed to have you.

happy birthday peanut.


i love you,


mom

just one reason among many

yesterday afternoon hubby came home from work early. he and a few guys from work are having a chili & salsa cook-off in a few days and he had deemed yesterday as the day to put it all together. but i digress...when he got home, he called the older two into the kitchen and explained what he needed to do and asked for their help. they were sooooo excited! they all wore chef hats and the kids helped hubby make everything. captain adventure would last for about half an hour then go play by himself for a while and come back. little mother hen hung in for the whole afternoon. she and hubby really had a nice time with each other just visiting and cooking. she even tasted the salsa and one of hot peppers. good for her!
this is just one of the many reasons that i love my husband. he took something that was so simple and made it an event for our kids. cool.

grandma's kitchen table

at grandma jingly keys' house, memories were made by the minute. some of my best memories of her revolve around her kitchen table. first, let me describe the table...round and big...it was probably close to six feet in diameter...off white with charming 1970s-ish gold flecks. when there were family parties, we'd crowd around the table elbow to elbow and eat (faygo chicken, corn, crockpot o'mashed potatoes, and, of course, gram's delicious cookies or texas sheet cake). we had a lot of family meals and parties there.

my earliest recollections are of her making oatmeal cookies and caramel corn at that table. when i close my eyes i can still smell her kitchen on those days. sometimes i would help her count cups of sugar and oats as she measured for her quadruple batches of cookies. when i was old enough, she would let me stir the boiling hot caramel for the caramel corn. her home is where i learned to bake.

we would chit-chat as we worked. she used to tell me stories from her childhood. i'd tell her about school and my friends. sometimes we'd talk about what was happening on her shows (ryan's hope and AMC). once in a while, she'd pour me a small glass of tab. i was in heaven!

sometimes, she'd do office work for grandpa's business at that table. i'd sit with her and "work" too...typing on her typewriter, writing letters, and sometimes coloring.

i can remember her changing the babies' diapers on that kitchen talble. she'd lay a bath towel down, get a warm wet washcloth (no wipes back then) and get to business.

gram and grandpa certainly got their money's worth out of that gold-flecked table. that's the kind of kitchen table i want to have.