our little family has begun a journey towards simplification . so the first step was admitting we have a problem ...of being over-scheduled, over-worked, over-indulged, and surrounded by too many things. the next step is action. we've been working on getting rid of the extra...the extra running around...the extra junk...the extra non-necessities in our lives.
so, we have spent the past few weekends purging...from our closets...from the basement...from all of the nooks and crannies where treasures go to hide. we have taken about 6 ginormous loads to various agencies where we live. there's still more to do, but that was a great start. and i feel good about it. we have started cleaning out what the past twenty years have brought in and other people will benefit from our purging. it's a win-win situation.
i've been doing a lot of talking with my girlfriends lately and the main theme of our conversations is this: we are overloaded...overwhelmed...overworked...overtired...and spread WAY too thin. as you may (or may not) know, i'm working on simplifying our lives. you can read my epiphany here .
i've decided to start raising funds so we can research this problem extensively. just kidding. but, i would like to talk about it. now, i will admit that some of my angst is self-induced. i have over-scheduled myself and our kids in an effort to keep us busy and allow less time for whining. we had a great summer...probably just the right amount of activities. however, it left me feeling out of breath and struggling to catch up on daily life. captain adventure was in an all boys gymnastics class at the Y at the end of the summer. he LOVED it. it was great for him. for me the only problem was the timing...every wednesday from 4:30-5:15. little mother hen gets out of school at 3:40...we get home by 3:50 and she only has a few minutes to catch her breath, do her homework, and grab a quick snack before we leave at 4:15. i know -- it was only once a week, but sometimes that is enough to throw a kink into the smooth running machine that is our life.
i joke with my friend jill that we are less like stay-at-home-moms and more like live-in-the-car-moms. i'm tired. i'm tired of the constant power struggle with our kids. i'm tired of so much running and so many activities. they're tired too. all they want to do is melt into the couch and stare at the tv (which is an entirely different post). they don't want to be constantly running between here and there any more than i do.
another part of the problem is that i have put WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE on myself to be the perfect mom...to bake, to craft, to haul, to enjoy, to never yell, to always cook, to always be calm and collected, to do it all and have it all. i have set myself up for failure by setting totally unrealistic expectations. so, i suppose i need to revamp my expectations for myself and the expectations that i have for our family. we need to re-prioritize as part of our simplification plan. that's cool. i can do that.
confession: i was a really good mom before i had kids
before i had kids i wasn't sleep deprived. i didn't feel like i was being pulled in a hundred different directions every single minute of every single day. i was patient. i did nice things for other people on a regular basis. i did nice things for myself on a regular basis. i had an entire list of all the things my kids would NEVER do. i had an even bigger list of the mom i would NEVER be.
i grew up as one of the oldest in a large extended family. there were always babies around. i started babysitting when i was 11. the kids i sat for were 9 and 7. (yeah, that sounds safe, doesn't it) also, i am a registered nurse. i mean, what could else could i possibly need to know? then we had our first child and reality hit. real quick like.
i knew absolutely nothing. in fact, i knew less than nothing. if you put my husband and i together and added up everything we knew, we still knew less than nothing. sadly, we found this out after we'd been home for approximately 72 hours with our newborn baby girl. that day has been burned into my brain. she cried. the. whole. entire. day. by mid-afternoon i was crying and i think my husband was only minutes away from cracking up. i remember calling my mom and in between the sobs saying, "what were we thinking? we're complete idiots. we don't know what to do with a baby."
i always thought i'd breastfeed (which i did) exclusively (which i didn't). i was sure that our children would never have pacifiers (which they did). they would also never: pick and eat their own boogers, use a sassy mouth, throw themselves into a heap on the floor of walmart, , stomp like a dinosaur in the middle of a crowded restaurant (they have done all of these). i would never spank (which i have on occasion). i would host arts and crafts hour on a regular basis (occasionally is more like it). i would cook healthy at least semi-homemade meals daily and would involve our kids in cooking (we're working on this one). we would NEVER go out in public wearing our pajamas (oh. yes. we. have.)
i could go on for hours. days, even. but, here's the thing - none of it matters. what matters is that i love our kids. i do my very best to be present. sometimes this is easier said than done. i'm working on this with our simplification plan. and the truth is that maybe i was a really good mom before i had kids. but that mom was a figment of my imagination. she wasn't real. but i am. i'm human. i make mistakes. and i can live with that knowing that every day i am trying to do my very best.
happy birthday to the love of my life. you are my best friend. you are my partner in life. you are my life. and i'm yours.
i love you,
me
for example, i won't lie and say that i'm happy about america's choice for the 44th president of our great nation. john mccain gave an eloquent concession speech and although he didn't actually say the words, i can read between the lines...he agrees with me -- it is what it is. let's not be partisan. let's not be shrill. instead, let us move forward. let us all keep plugging along to help make our country better.
the truth is that although i did not vote for obama, i do not want to see him fail as our president. because if he fails, we all fail. i hope that he can lead our country in the right direction. i hope that he is able to stand up for what he believes is in the best interest of our country even if it goes against the talking heads of the democratic party. because at the very least, he owes us his very best.
i hope that he can reach the bar he has set for himself during this campaign. he is a spectacularly charismatic speaker. he has the amazing ability to evoke very strong emotions from the people he speaks to. he was able to gain the support of millions and millions of people. it is within the realm of possibility that this man has the potential to become a great leader...to do what he has promised to do...to make our country better...to fight the good fight for the people of this great nation.
to be sure, there will be changes in our country when he takes office. but, they have the potential to be changes for the betterment of our country. and, in the end, that is what truly matters. we all love our country and want it to be great.
if you don't like the end result of the election, get involved in local government. call your representatives and let them know how you feel on the issues that are important to you. if you aren't part of the solution then you are part of the problem.
it is what it is. no more. no less.
*this has nothing to do with politics, so check your tude at the door. please.
confession: i am VERY bothered by people who say that sarah palin shouldn't be running for office because she is a mom and her kids need her.
shucks pa, i didn't know we were living in walnut grove. first of all, (and i think this is a pretty obvious question) but what role do you think her husband should have in raising THEIR children? obviously they've been making it work. and before you bring up their pregnant teen, are you telling me that moms who don't work outside the home don't have sexually active teens? because you're full of crap. or delusional. you pick.
and what about that precious baby? who's taking care of their special needs baby? give me a break. i know several parents of special needs children. they aren't any different from parents of typically developing children...they do what they have to do to take care of their children. (duh!) they survey the situation and make a judgment call about what they think is best for their family. (novel idea, huh?)
it is offensive to me that there are people who are trying to substitute THEIR judgment for that of the palins. only the palins can know what is best for their family. i'd be super pissed if you came to my house and tried to substitute your judgment for ours. i'd probably exclude you from our Christmas card list.
get off your high horse. instead of worrying about what the palins are doing and how they are doing it, focus your energy on your own family. you'd better go check on your kids before your teenager winds up a teen parent and everyone is looking at you and talking about how it's all your fault because you weren't "there" enough. go ahead. i'll wait.
hugs and kisses,
me
