sunday confessional 11/9/08

confession: i was a really good mom before i had kids

before i had kids i wasn't sleep deprived. i didn't feel like i was being pulled in a hundred different directions every single minute of every single day. i was patient. i did nice things for other people on a regular basis. i did nice things for myself on a regular basis. i had an entire list of all the things my kids would NEVER do. i had an even bigger list of the mom i would NEVER be.

i grew up as one of the oldest in a large extended family. there were always babies around. i started babysitting when i was 11. the kids i sat for were 9 and 7. (yeah, that sounds safe, doesn't it) also, i am a registered nurse. i mean, what could else could i possibly need to know? then we had our first child and reality hit. real quick like.

i knew absolutely nothing. in fact, i knew less than nothing. if you put my husband and i together and added up everything we knew, we still knew less than nothing. sadly, we found this out after we'd been home for approximately 72 hours with our newborn baby girl. that day has been burned into my brain. she cried. the. whole. entire. day. by mid-afternoon i was crying and i think my husband was only minutes away from cracking up. i remember calling my mom and in between the sobs saying, "what were we thinking? we're complete idiots. we don't know what to do with a baby."

i always thought i'd breastfeed (which i did) exclusively (which i didn't). i was sure that our children would never have pacifiers (which they did). they would also never: pick and eat their own boogers, use a sassy mouth, throw themselves into a heap on the floor of walmart, , stomp like a dinosaur in the middle of a crowded restaurant (they have done all of these). i would never spank (which i have on occasion). i would host arts and crafts hour on a regular basis (occasionally is more like it). i would cook healthy at least semi-homemade meals daily and would involve our kids in cooking (we're working on this one). we would NEVER go out in public wearing our pajamas (oh. yes. we. have.)


i could go on for hours. days, even. but, here's the thing - none of it matters. what matters is that i love our kids. i do my very best to be present. sometimes this is easier said than done. i'm working on this with our simplification plan. and the truth is that maybe i was a really good mom before i had kids. but that mom was a figment of my imagination. she wasn't real. but i am. i'm human. i make mistakes. and i can live with that knowing that every day i am trying to do my very best.

sunday confessional 11/2/08

*this has nothing to do with politics, so check your tude at the door. please.

confession: i am VERY bothered by people who say that sarah palin shouldn't be running for office because she is a mom and her kids need her.

shucks pa, i didn't know we were living in walnut grove. first of all, (and i think this is a pretty obvious question) but what role do you think her husband should have in raising THEIR children? obviously they've been making it work. and before you bring up their pregnant teen, are you telling me that moms who don't work outside the home don't have sexually active teens? because you're full of crap. or delusional. you pick.

and what about that precious baby? who's taking care of their special needs baby? give me a break. i know several parents of special needs children. they aren't any different from parents of typically developing children...they do what they have to do to take care of their children. (duh!) they survey the situation and make a judgment call about what they think is best for their family. (novel idea, huh?)

it is offensive to me that there are people who are trying to substitute THEIR judgment for that of the palins. only the palins can know what is best for their family. i'd be super pissed if you came to my house and tried to substitute your judgment for ours. i'd probably exclude you from our Christmas card list.

get off your high horse. instead of worrying about what the palins are doing and how they are doing it, focus your energy on your own family. you'd better go check on your kids before your teenager winds up a teen parent and everyone is looking at you and talking about how it's all your fault because you weren't "there" enough. go ahead. i'll wait.

hugs and kisses,
me

sunday confessional 10/26/08

confession: sometimes i want to use utensils to seriously mame people.

ok, so you know how when people are searching for an answer about something or an opinion on a specific topic and they ask you because of what they perceive to be your expertise in a given area...so you give them your very best information in good faith...then they look at you and say, "no, i'm pretty sure you're wrong. i looked it up on the internet and you're waaay off"? well, that makes me want to stab a fork in their eyes.

seriously, what is it with people? i mean, don't waste your breath asking me a question if you're just going to immediately pull out your citation list (that's three pages long) so you can attempt to prove me wrong. what is the point of this exercise? don't ask me a question that you already know the answer to. i have one word for you -- shenanigans.