be the change

sometimes you have to get off of your pissy pot and decide that you're not going to keep complaining like a broken record. it isn't enough to just keep talking and complaining about something. take that energy, harness it, and focus it on something else...like making a change.

it is soooo easy to just keep complaining, though, isn't it? sometimes it's fun...when we get together and complain about the same event or person. but the truth is, nothing productive is coming of it. nothing changes. the really difficult work comes with changing...a behavior...an event...an attitude. it is hard to change. and sometimes it's scary...like changing jobs or friends or houses. but, complaining just eats away at our spirit and our soul.

so, i'm going to make a better effort to be the change that i want to see. instead of sitting on the sidelines complaining at every turn, i'm going to get in the game and start being more pro-active, instead of reactive.

be the change. be the change. be the change. (that's my new mantra)

"the gift of worship"

i recently stumbled upon this on another blog , thepaynechatelaine, and it really spoke to how i have been feeling for a very long time. i have not been a regular attendee of church in quite a while. i could spend from now until a week from next friday talking about all of the reasons why i don't go to church, but i won't because they don't matter. while i was watching this video, i realized that all of my reasons weren't important because i was making a choice. i was making a choice to let all of my hang-ups get in the way of me worshiping. the songs, the ritualistic behaviors, the robotic feelings...none of that matters. what matters is what i do to worship God. what matters is what i feel in my heart about the Person that i am worshiping. it doesn't matter what i think about the songs or the way the message is presented. i need to stop being focused on how i feel during and after church and focus on worshiping and praising my loving God.

i have been very upset with myself for a long time because i believe it is my responsibility as a parent to provide our children with a place to worship...to teach them about God...to teach them how to pray and be good role models in the church family. we have always taught them about God...we read the Bible and Bible stories together, they went/go to a church-based preschool, they are all baptized, and once-in-a-while we take them to church. i want to get them and myself involved in our church again. this past weekend our baby was baptized...he's 15 months old a that was the first time he has ever been to church. that's a problem to me. i want to break the cycle. i need to get my head right and make a better choice.

shift your focus

i think that on some days it is very easy for me to become caught up in my own little world. i mean, really, there are a lot of things going on around here...several major projects and also the day-to-day tasks...and it all requires planning, time, thought, and yes, unfortunately action. some days (like yesterday) i'm not sure that any of it will ever get done. yesterday i felt like i was chasing my tail. for every task that i completed, two more took it's place. truth be told, i had a pity party for myself that lasted for the better part of the afternoon. in fact, hubby made me a delicious margarita as my party beverage. he even went back out to the store to buy sweet & sour since the kind i bought tasted like toilets. when i told him not to bother, he looked me in the eye and said, "please, let me do this. i want to do this for you. i know you've been thinking about this all day." that is the moment i realized that i needed to change my attitude. while i was busy throwing a baby fit about all of the things that i ended up having to do that i hadn't planned on doing, he managed to keep all three kids fed, taken care of, safe, and occupied. he did his best. did i do mine?

i think i did my best in the morning...i had the day all planned out in my head...then came a phone call that threw a kink in my day. instead of meeting the task with my best foot forward, i started thinking about all of the other things that i had to do that i wouldn't be able to do because of the phone call. i got caught up in how i was being affected by things. but, guess what...it isn't about me. not at all. not even for one minute. i needed to look at the big picture instead of what was right in front of me. sometimes you have to shift your focus.